Transcript of an interesting phone SMS exchange I had yesterday. Sent a message to a friend I haven’t touched base with for a while:
Me: Oist, nag-birthday ka nga pala last week, di ka man lang nagpakain
Reply: Gud pm po, may I know hu u r?
Me: Potaaa, binura mo na number ko? Sige maglimutan na tayo!
Reply: Sorry po tlg bk nasa1 cp ko kc nagplit me ng cp eh nacra kc cp me n 1. Hu u please
I swear I am not making this up. I’m copying down the message exactly as I received it. At this point I should have known something was not right. My friend has a lot of faults, but at least he doesn’t compose text messages that way.
Me: Fine, fine, si Rina to. Wag ka na mag-po matanda ka pa sakin
Reply: Rina? Kilala ba u me?
Okay, I knew something was up.
Me: Teka, si Darwin ba ‘to?
With this, my ‘friend’ suddenly took on yet another entirely different personality
Reply: Nextym nga kilalanin u muna tnitx u b4 u say badwords ha! Wg u me minumura dhl ni 1 butil ng knin d u me pnkain bk gs2 u ipakilala ko sau ang potaaa na cnsbi u
Gee whiz, what happened to all the “po” and “please”?
Me: Gosh, I’m sorry. Saka hindi mura yon, that’s just an expression. Ito kasing ginagamit nyang number before e. Kilala mo ba sya?
No reply. It’s just as well, I guess.
See, what probably happened was that my friend’s phone got stolen and the thief was the one using it (or else the hapless person who bought it from the thief). What was bugging me was, langya, nakaw na phone na nga ginagamit mo ikaw pa matapang?
And I don’t understand why the person would get all pissed at a simple case of mistaken identity. And why he/she should be so dense as to take the ‘potaaa’ thing personally. And why, for crying out loud, did he/she have to pepper sentences with those pesky “me” and “u” inanities. If we’re going to rail at some stranger, can’t we at least use proper pronouns? Stuff like that, and these, really tick me off. Or send me into uncontrollable laughing fits. Whichever works.