Monthly Archives: November 2007

what’s our role here?

So after several hours of self-righteous indignation, and waiting for the people’s support which never came, Sen. Trillanes and Gen. Lim’s group agreed to stand down. Before that I was all tense and worried, thinking that this could not possibly end well, that people would die, that the only way Trillanes can hope to gain sympathy at this point to actually die fighting. But no, at the end of the day, it looks like another grandstanding, pointless stunt, with Trillanes raving about how his 11 million votes were disrespected and practically performing before the media, saying, See, see what they’d do? Look, tear gas! Tanks! (Or, in rebel-speak, “You have been witnesses and victims to the kind of ruthlessness of this administration.”) Well what did he expect??

In the end they, they decided to peacefully leave Manila Pen, but not before holding a press conference. During the press con, Trillanes’ statements were defiant as always, but he looked sad, deflated, speaking haltingly and even answering a question with “Whatever” (we all burst out laughing when we heard that one). Not quite your old gung-ho adventurist. He’s probably shaken by the fact that once again, he’s left spearheading a hopeless coup attempt, with nobody bothering to show up to support his cause. He’s probably going, where are my 11 million votes now?

Sen. Trillanes, your 11 million voters were telling you to work within the proper channels. Your ascendancy to the Senate was an expression of trust from people hoping that you’d work for real change, that you’d continue to stand for idealism. It was not a license to stage another publicity stunt of a coup attempt just because you can’t hold office in Pasay.

I’m not crazy about this administration as well, but I can’t support such methods as his, because I think it’s pointless and counterproductive. On the other hand, I also can’t help asking myself, “So how are you doing your part?” I’m working hard, I don’t give bribes, I don’t litter, I campaign for the environment – is that enough? Shouldn’t we all step up, even just a little bit?

I was mad as hell when some congressman justified the Malacañang cash gifts by saying they’re not bribes but “allowances.” I was like, potah, sobrang ginagawa naman nila tayong tanga. But even so, that was all I did, wala na. So the question now is, if the Trillaneses don’t do what they are doing, if nobody really speaks out, and corruption continue to be a way of life, where does that leave us? Gen. Lim did have a point when he said “Dissent without action is consent,” even if I have issues on the actions he chose to take. As it has previously been pointed out, we really do get the leaders we deserve.

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The Cast of Could(never)-have-beens

Fact 1: My blog seriously needs updates.

Fact 2: I don’t know how it happened, but somehow some crumpled pieces of paper which contain scribblings of an article I wrote almost 3 years ago ended up on my desk. I wrote the article for a friend who was conceptualizing some sort of anthology, but the project never really took off so I thought what the hey, I’m posting it.

You know sometimes when you read your old stuff, and there are just some portions that make you cringe and go how could you have written that? There are are few of that here so, my apologies.

The Cast of Could-Have-Beens

26 years old and single since birth.

It’s not exactly a one in a million kind of phenomenon, but for women in that situation it seems that way sometimes – a lot of times. People even refuse to believe it when you tell them you’ve never had a boyfriend, as if you’re some freak of nature that should never be allowed out in public. And as a freak of nature, here are some of the characteristics:

  • You’re constantly vulnerable to emotional upheavals caused by romantic movies and sappy songs.
  • You live your romantic life vicariously through the lives of your friends, and you’re always there to listen to their stories of heartache and to give sage advice as if you know what you’re talking about (the miron always knows better).
  • You have numerous celebrity crushes because it somehow doesn’t work out with real people.
  • You have a journal where you purge your Ally MacBealish type of ranting and mushiness.

The course of my 26 years as a single manang, while frustrating and depressing at times, nevertheless featured certain characters – boys and men who, had circumstances been different, had I been a different person, or had we been the only two people left on the planet, could have been the one to break the 26-year single-since-birth streak. All women (or even men), I think, have one or two of these characters in their lives. See if you can recognize some:

The Childhood Sweetheart

You were in school together, you live in the same village, and your parents know one another quite well. The two of you were the perennial object of tireless teasing by classmates, and a chorus of “uuuyyy!!” erupts every time you so much as get within 5 feet of each other. Embarrassed as you were by the jokes, you learned to live with it, as you would naturally learn to live with something that has become a regular part of your life from Grades 2 to 6. He’s now married and has two kids, and drives a tricycle for a living. And you still wince a little every time you see him during the rare occasions you go back to your hometown.

The Adolescent Infatuation

The fortunate (or unfortunate) object of the impassioned, heedless, innocent stupid love only a thirteen year-old can exhibit to the fullest, most excruciating degree. The whole class, including him, knew you had a crush on him, and being the sweet, amiable (and highly suggestible) guy he was, he developed a crush on you as well. You conducted a mild and harmless “courtship” which ended the next year when you switched schools. However, you suspect that evidence of this period still exist somewhere in your house, in the form of countless letters to your then best friend (a classmate who you saw everyday anyway) breathlessly recounting every single encounter, glance, or sentiment; and treasured items from him like the piece of paper he gave you during a test which you never used but kept for posterity, an intricately folded 2-peso bill with your names written on each side, a Valentine card, and his end-of-school year letter wishing you the best in your new school. You tried once or twice to visit your old school the next year hoping to see him but somehow you never did, either because he had a different schedule, or worse, because he didn’t want to see you. You realized for the first time what a disappointment, a waste, all your feelings can be. For the first time, you got hurt. You swear you’d never be that foolishly head-over-heels again over some guy. Since then, you’ve only seen him once, from a distance. But you would like to see him again, if only to learn what his signature looks like now, which used to feature your initials as an added flourish.

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what’s rattling up there

Mika’s bugging me to make a post, and since I don’t want to disappoint one of my three or so loyal readers, I’m posting some bits – thoughts that have been rattling around in my brain, activities I’ve been engaged in, the usual garbage, he he.

  • There’s a new Beaming Beeman post but I can’t read it because I haven’t seen Episode 9 yet. E.Q., Rina, E.Q….
  • On the other hand, I’m up to date on Grey’s and am currently quite delighted with it. There are slight dips, some instances when you’d think, what the hell is up with these people? – but over all, still very entertaining. McDreamy is slowly endearing himself to me, te hee.
  • I’m going to be juggling three jobs in the coming weeks and I hardly know how I’m going to divide my time. My lousy working habits (e.g. veeerry long warm-up period before brain actually starts working, inability to work when at home and bed is very near, bloghopping/TV episode catch-up spells in between work, etc.) will have to be drastically overhauled. Come late January, however, it’s very likely that I’ll only have half a job and therefore half the salary, so I guess I should chin up and take advantage while I can. Next year will be a very scary, challenging, unpredictable period for me. But who knows, I might just end up having the time of my life.
  • Because of the requirements of my other part-time work I have to learn Adobe InDesign, and to some extent Illustrator and Photoshop too. It’s meticulous and patience-testing work, and I mostly find myself cheating in some way or another, but I’m glad I’m learning something new.
  • Christmas has officially arrived at my doorstep. I’m renting a second-floor room at a house in Sta. Ana, and this morning I found – heard, actually, that the family living downstairs has installed Christmas lights – the kind that gaily trills out Christmas melodies all day long. I’m no Scrooge, but really, I find those things irritating as heck. If I have to listen to that all day I’d go crazy. I wonder how those mall salespeople handle it, hearing the same muzak all day every day. Not to mention the standing up all day, or the lousy wages, or non-regularization or whatever.
  • I had a birthday last October, and this is the last year I’m going to be in my twenties. Shudders. I remember receiving some forwarded email years ago, some kind of checklist on what a woman should have or should have done before reaching 30. I don’t have the list anymore, but somehow I don’t think I’d be faring too well in that. Then again, I should at least reach 30 knowing that I shouldn’t be holding myself up to other people’s standards of success or fulfillment or whatever.
  • Nothing definite yet, but I’m still gunning for that Batanes trip next summer. And no, it’s not because of that new film, this has been a dream of mine for years. I hope it finally pushes through this time. I already have plans of standing in the middle of some jaw-dropping vista, spreading my arms wide, looking up at the sky, and, even though I did not teleport to the place, scream Hiro-style, “Yataaaaaa!” And of course, there should be photo documentation of that moment.

yata.jpg

Life should be full of “Yataaaaaa!” moments.